Two-Lane Blacktop

According to the book, I'm supposed to watch Two-Lane Blacktop because...well, the book is way over there and as much as the film felt like putting effort into entertaining me...

There's much promise in the film. About the same time as Easy Rider, but less arrogance, muscle cars and the promise of a road race without a cast of has-beens and wanna-bees, the word "balls" or a gag reel at the end. On top of this, the joy of meeting a young Warren Oats.

You don't know Warren Oats? Yes you do! You've seen Stripes! Big Toe, Sgt. Hulka - that's Warren Oates. But not in Two-Lane Blacktop. He's sketchy-very-thin guy with a fast car that wants to race cross-country for pink slips. Watch it just to have your jaw drop and go, "that's Sgt. Hulka?" Really, the things our generation doesn't know...

So you know there's a race. Did I mention the hitchhiker, Bird? Yeah, she's cute and she has sex with our two intrepid young men who are theoretically the heroes of our little piece (played by James Taylor and Dennis Wilson). Sound boring? Don't worry, it really is that anti-climatic. Anti-climatci is the theme with everything in the movie - the sex, friendship, money, racing, and life.

This film is discussed in by the women in Tarantino's Death Proof - his half of Grindhouse. I found that dialogue disingenuous in the same way that Two-Lane became disingenuous. In Death Proof, you know Taratino is writing his dream girls - a little sexy, a little daring, very tough, extremely badass and a volume of pop culture knowledge that only he could match.

In Two-Lane Blacktop, you know that these guys are aiming for cult status right away. The more the film tries for disaffected youth without direction except the road, the harder it gets to be invested. There are those that swear by this, but I left the film just feeling as if everything was trying so hard not to try so hard. If you're trying that hard not to try so hard, you want me to care - but I'm not supposed to care! Unless I want to be uber-cool, and then I care. See - this is crazy Jane-type behavior and I just want off this thing!

My apologies. That last sentence was at least 12.6 zillion times more exciting than anything you'll see in Two-Lane Blacktop. Of course, I now know Sgt. Hulka before he became a big toe, so it wasn't a total loss.