Gosh - a picture from the 1950s! You know, that lovely wholesome time when we were great families with values and honor and manners and stuff. It was a swell time to be alive! This movie starts out just right with this kindly lady reminding us of this great time when we were in Sunday school, so you know it's great!
Oooh - a flashback! Well, it's that one where our Dad is killing a woman and the local police have tracked him down and he briefly uses his children as a bargaining chip, but it's still wholesome, right? I mean, he trusts his kid with the secret of the cash. Sure, he tells the kid that he can't tell his own mother about the money and tells the boy that he has to protect his sister at all costs, but that's what the 50s was all about - responsibility and being a man! In today's world, that kid would have bolted with the cash just to buy mind-rotting video games and would have left his sister in the dust!
But we don't have to worry about Mom because she meets a nice preacher man! Except for that LOVE-HATE tattoo and the little matter of having watched Dad hang in prison and the unhinged way that he sings and his manipulative way of marrying mom just to get the money Dad left behind. But it's the 50s! See, he marries the widow! Nowadays, he wouldn't have bothered marrying her, brainwashing her and forcing her to go out on tour preaching about the evils of the love of money just so that if she does find the money that she'll hate it and give it all to the preacher. This isn't sounding quite right.
Wait a minute...could it possibly be that the 50s weren't so great? I mean, sure there's another murder, a few more attempted murders and the merciless hunting of two small children, but it's the 50s, right?
God, I'm frightened for our past. Why, again, do politicians keep trying to tell me about these "good old days?" Seriously, this movie really scared the crap out of me. Why do old white men keep telling me that I want to live in those good old days? What did I ever do to them?
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