Well, we watched 3 movies last month!
Look, sometimes you go off list. That's all I can really say. So we got the total up to 462. I'd name favorites, but that would just be embarrassing. Who really wants to be a top 3 movie in a field of three movies?
02 June 2009
11 May 2009
Where I Stand (Way Late May Edition)
As of the end of April, 459 movies watched - while we watched quite a few movies last month, only 9 were from the list. But it was a quality nine, I promise. As to the favorites...
Dancer in the Dark: I know, I know, I've got it bad for Lars Von Trier. (I've even been watching his non-1001 movies!) As heartbreaking as Breaking the Waves was, this was just brutal. But it was beautiful - and it was a musical. This is how Lars makes me fall in love with him every single time while he toys with my heart. He knows that I'll be back for more. Bjork was unbelievable.
His Girl Friday: Someday, I want to be a fast-talking movie dame in a Howard Hawks film. Sure, I may be getting tricked into remarrying my ex-husband, but it's Cary Grant - and he is trying to tell me that I'm not going to be happy cooped up at home when I'm a great newspaper man (well, you know what I mean). Besides, I would be the one getting to break the big story...
The Big Heat: While watching this ex-cop anti-hero film, I half wondered why it hadn't been remade yet...and then I realized that just about every mob film has borrowed liberally from The Big Heat. The idealistic hero turned anti-hero after losing a family member? Corrupt police officials in bed with the mafia? The witness that comes forward only to be brutally killed after being promised their safety in return? The moll that looks to be on the verge of redemption that will ultimately make the bigger sacrifice? It's all there, but in a less than two hours and with far less hubris than some directors have given us over the years...
All in all, it was a good month for movies. With spring here, watching movies is getting harder, but we'll figure out something.
Dancer in the Dark: I know, I know, I've got it bad for Lars Von Trier. (I've even been watching his non-1001 movies!) As heartbreaking as Breaking the Waves was, this was just brutal. But it was beautiful - and it was a musical. This is how Lars makes me fall in love with him every single time while he toys with my heart. He knows that I'll be back for more. Bjork was unbelievable.
His Girl Friday: Someday, I want to be a fast-talking movie dame in a Howard Hawks film. Sure, I may be getting tricked into remarrying my ex-husband, but it's Cary Grant - and he is trying to tell me that I'm not going to be happy cooped up at home when I'm a great newspaper man (well, you know what I mean). Besides, I would be the one getting to break the big story...
The Big Heat: While watching this ex-cop anti-hero film, I half wondered why it hadn't been remade yet...and then I realized that just about every mob film has borrowed liberally from The Big Heat. The idealistic hero turned anti-hero after losing a family member? Corrupt police officials in bed with the mafia? The witness that comes forward only to be brutally killed after being promised their safety in return? The moll that looks to be on the verge of redemption that will ultimately make the bigger sacrifice? It's all there, but in a less than two hours and with far less hubris than some directors have given us over the years...
All in all, it was a good month for movies. With spring here, watching movies is getting harder, but we'll figure out something.
20 April 2009
I may be in trouble after this...then again, I think not.
1001 makes room on the list for Batman. Being that my edition was published in 2004, they're talking Michael Keaton's version. Yes this one:
No, not this one:
Now, are they both great movies? Sure. Is there room for both of them on the list.
No.
Would I replace the old with the new?
No.
I know, I know.
Breathe in, breathe out. I promise, I love superhero movies.
But this is the deal. Look at that first trailer again. In Tim Burton's Batman, you're seeing the best of the special effects. Yes, they're rivaling the wizardry of Team America, but in 1989, that was something great. In The Dark Knight, Christopher Nolan's trailer barely has to show up in order to smack the original Batman into the corner, steal his milk money and sully his sister's reputation.
At the same time, our Dark Knight could stand to turn around and shake Batman's hand. Sure, before Tim Burton, there had been plenty of Superhero movies and television shows - before that, radio had brought on more than enough action. Many an actor got their start in the business as a hero and made a fine living making movies for kids.
Tim Burton promised to take it a step further for the 80s shiny, super-synthed, computer-obsessed, greed-addled, materialistic, overly active brains. It had to be more than just a Super Hero movie back in the day - it had to be an event. And worse yet, it had to overcome the campyness of a television show that was better known for gargantuan KA-POW!! shots, bat-shark repellent, a crime fighting duo that always buckled up and practiced good grammar. Tim Burton also fought to take Michael Keaton and turn him into the brooding, conflicted Batman who was playboy by day and crime-fighting badass by night.
This was a tall order for anyone. Especially when CGI wasn't even a gleam in anyone's eye. And then you announce your caped crusader is going to be played by the star of Mr. Mom and Beatlejuice. Yes, that guy. Have I mentioned that you're putting him up against Jack Nicholson as the Joker?
Tim Burton was doing the first reboot before we even knew to call them reboots.
Yes, the effects are laughable and yes, the Batmobile looked a little too much like the campy car of old, but there was a roadmap being drawn that would become everything we know about our flawed Superheroes of today. No more mere flashes of doubt or an easily glossed over brush with mortality; Burton was ushering in the era of the flawed hero.
This is where Mr. Mom became sheer genius for the role - who better than someone who had previously been known for comedy to portray a boy struck by tragedy driven to protect a city from itself? Why would the guy previously undead seen trying to marry Wynona Ryder in a formal prison tux suddenly be a conflicted playboy trying to do good anonymously? It makes no sense.
Neither does Batman.
Any other director that's supposedly taken a casting risk on a hero is just pretending compared to what Burton did before him. And this is where Tim gets all the credit. Sure, there's been awesomeness since, but you have to give credit where credit's due.
1001 makes room on the list for Batman. Being that my edition was published in 2004, they're talking Michael Keaton's version. Yes this one:
No, not this one:
Now, are they both great movies? Sure. Is there room for both of them on the list.
No.
Would I replace the old with the new?
No.
I know, I know.
Breathe in, breathe out. I promise, I love superhero movies.
But this is the deal. Look at that first trailer again. In Tim Burton's Batman, you're seeing the best of the special effects. Yes, they're rivaling the wizardry of Team America, but in 1989, that was something great. In The Dark Knight, Christopher Nolan's trailer barely has to show up in order to smack the original Batman into the corner, steal his milk money and sully his sister's reputation.
At the same time, our Dark Knight could stand to turn around and shake Batman's hand. Sure, before Tim Burton, there had been plenty of Superhero movies and television shows - before that, radio had brought on more than enough action. Many an actor got their start in the business as a hero and made a fine living making movies for kids.
Tim Burton promised to take it a step further for the 80s shiny, super-synthed, computer-obsessed, greed-addled, materialistic, overly active brains. It had to be more than just a Super Hero movie back in the day - it had to be an event. And worse yet, it had to overcome the campyness of a television show that was better known for gargantuan KA-POW!! shots, bat-shark repellent, a crime fighting duo that always buckled up and practiced good grammar. Tim Burton also fought to take Michael Keaton and turn him into the brooding, conflicted Batman who was playboy by day and crime-fighting badass by night.
This was a tall order for anyone. Especially when CGI wasn't even a gleam in anyone's eye. And then you announce your caped crusader is going to be played by the star of Mr. Mom and Beatlejuice. Yes, that guy. Have I mentioned that you're putting him up against Jack Nicholson as the Joker?
Tim Burton was doing the first reboot before we even knew to call them reboots.
Yes, the effects are laughable and yes, the Batmobile looked a little too much like the campy car of old, but there was a roadmap being drawn that would become everything we know about our flawed Superheroes of today. No more mere flashes of doubt or an easily glossed over brush with mortality; Burton was ushering in the era of the flawed hero.
This is where Mr. Mom became sheer genius for the role - who better than someone who had previously been known for comedy to portray a boy struck by tragedy driven to protect a city from itself? Why would the guy previously undead seen trying to marry Wynona Ryder in a formal prison tux suddenly be a conflicted playboy trying to do good anonymously? It makes no sense.
Neither does Batman.
Any other director that's supposedly taken a casting risk on a hero is just pretending compared to what Burton did before him. And this is where Tim gets all the credit. Sure, there's been awesomeness since, but you have to give credit where credit's due.
A Hard-to-Find Film
Just a head's up.
If you're looking to watch Hal Hartley's Trust and you've got a subscription to Netflix, it's available this month on the instant-watch. The film isn't available on DVD right now (long out of print), so this is a pretty easy find if you're willing to go for the subscription.
02 April 2009
Where I Stand (April 1-st-ish Edition)
Ah, 449 movies watched. We actually watched a dozen movies this month and decided to take the plunge with a little outfit called Netflix to get those DVDs that aren't available through the library (inaugural checkout from the list - Five Easy Pieces). I've also discovered that I may have a list problem over at List of Bests. Of the 27 Lists I'm working on, 15 are related to movies. Everything from The Films of Marilyn Monroe to Bravo's 100 Scariest Movie Moments to the IMDB top 250 to this list. Hey, there's crossover.
So, onto the favorites for March:
Dersu Uzula - Yes, when it comes to Akira Kurosawa, I'm picking the one filmed in the former Soviet Union with the all USSR cast! However, in our Kurosawa mini-film festival this month, this was the one that spoke to us the most. Sure, there was the sweeping King Lear spectacle of Ran and then there was the bleak realization that no point of view would ever make sense or right out of Rashomon - and while all of that was rolickin' good times, Dersu Uzula's story of an unbalanced friendship left the longest impression. In Dersu Uzula, there is much to be said about allowing the organic nature of friendship to exist and to let yourself be helped by a friend that is offering without worrying about future repayments.
Sleuth - Every single film where there's a con of some sort wants to be this movie. Including the remake. Two men in the cast and nothing but words and your imagination to carry you through their various games of one-upsmanship. I'd say that you'll find yourself rooting for one over the other, but really, both are cheaters and liars. At the same time, you really do want to know how it's going to turn out.
The Wild Bunch - Peckinpah. Guns. Bullets. Lots and lots and lots and lots of bullets. Really - over 90,000 blanks were fired during that movie (it's on IMDB, so it must be true!). All in all, this is not a throwaway story dependent on bullets. What starts as a deadly double-cross on a "one-last-heist" (aren't they all?) turns into a run-in with Warlords demanding that our survivors now try to figure out how to rob the U.S. Army...which wouldn't be a terrible problem if one of the posse members weren't looking to help out the rebels on the sly.
Here's to a few more movies from multiple outlets, figuring out a better posting schedule, and spending some time in the great outdoors!
So, onto the favorites for March:
Dersu Uzula - Yes, when it comes to Akira Kurosawa, I'm picking the one filmed in the former Soviet Union with the all USSR cast! However, in our Kurosawa mini-film festival this month, this was the one that spoke to us the most. Sure, there was the sweeping King Lear spectacle of Ran and then there was the bleak realization that no point of view would ever make sense or right out of Rashomon - and while all of that was rolickin' good times, Dersu Uzula's story of an unbalanced friendship left the longest impression. In Dersu Uzula, there is much to be said about allowing the organic nature of friendship to exist and to let yourself be helped by a friend that is offering without worrying about future repayments.
Sleuth - Every single film where there's a con of some sort wants to be this movie. Including the remake. Two men in the cast and nothing but words and your imagination to carry you through their various games of one-upsmanship. I'd say that you'll find yourself rooting for one over the other, but really, both are cheaters and liars. At the same time, you really do want to know how it's going to turn out.
The Wild Bunch - Peckinpah. Guns. Bullets. Lots and lots and lots and lots of bullets. Really - over 90,000 blanks were fired during that movie (it's on IMDB, so it must be true!). All in all, this is not a throwaway story dependent on bullets. What starts as a deadly double-cross on a "one-last-heist" (aren't they all?) turns into a run-in with Warlords demanding that our survivors now try to figure out how to rob the U.S. Army...which wouldn't be a terrible problem if one of the posse members weren't looking to help out the rebels on the sly.
Here's to a few more movies from multiple outlets, figuring out a better posting schedule, and spending some time in the great outdoors!
06 March 2009
Where I stand (March Close to the Beginning Edition)
9 Movies on the list watched, bringing the grand total up to 437 movies. It feels like the halfway point is still kind of far away. We're watching a lot of non-list movies and even cheating a bit by catching up on the IMDB-250 and some old Oscar nominees we never got around to watching. I know! It's as if other movies exist.
So, onto the top 3:
Solyaris (Solaris) - Russian films continue to charm and even though the length can drain a bit, this is terrific stuff. In the philosophical questions it asks, it's also not afraid to be campy - after all, what was that dwarf doing in the cosmonauts room? Much better than the remake (aren't the originals always) if you're willing to forgive bad Soviet-era special effects. Bonus - catch the smoking allowed on space stations!
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs - It's true, I didn't see this as a kid growing up. If you believe the stories that my father has about wanting to ensure that I'd grow up an empowered female and not wanting to expose me to inappropriate female archetypes, I have a bridge in Brooklyn for sale cheap. (Some parents have mighty big words and phrasing for, "I wanted to watch movies I'd like!") What's amazing about Snow White is realizing what a labor-intensive process animation was for as little as it offered and then realizing how amazing Snow White still managed to be for its time. Of course, we ended up checking out the animated Horton Hears a Who the same week and seeing how far animation has come in 70 years is nothing short of amazing.
Sullivan's Travels - Fantastic satire. Hollywood director sets out to live poverty for himself while accompanied by publicity-crazed studio that insists on following him in a luxury bus. When this all goes wrong, he meets Lana Turner (who is crazy tiny!) and the movie manages to get a point across without turning into a preachy mess - which is the message that was needed all along. Even when the movie turns a bit dark, it still manages to keep a sense of humor. Bit of trivia: at one point, Sullivan does make reference to a screenplay for "O Brother, Where Art Thou," which did have me wondering...
Here's to a new month, getting past awards season and watching more films. I sense a Japanese film festival in my living room coming soon...
So, onto the top 3:
Solyaris (Solaris) - Russian films continue to charm and even though the length can drain a bit, this is terrific stuff. In the philosophical questions it asks, it's also not afraid to be campy - after all, what was that dwarf doing in the cosmonauts room? Much better than the remake (aren't the originals always) if you're willing to forgive bad Soviet-era special effects. Bonus - catch the smoking allowed on space stations!
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs - It's true, I didn't see this as a kid growing up. If you believe the stories that my father has about wanting to ensure that I'd grow up an empowered female and not wanting to expose me to inappropriate female archetypes, I have a bridge in Brooklyn for sale cheap. (Some parents have mighty big words and phrasing for, "I wanted to watch movies I'd like!") What's amazing about Snow White is realizing what a labor-intensive process animation was for as little as it offered and then realizing how amazing Snow White still managed to be for its time. Of course, we ended up checking out the animated Horton Hears a Who the same week and seeing how far animation has come in 70 years is nothing short of amazing.
Sullivan's Travels - Fantastic satire. Hollywood director sets out to live poverty for himself while accompanied by publicity-crazed studio that insists on following him in a luxury bus. When this all goes wrong, he meets Lana Turner (who is crazy tiny!) and the movie manages to get a point across without turning into a preachy mess - which is the message that was needed all along. Even when the movie turns a bit dark, it still manages to keep a sense of humor. Bit of trivia: at one point, Sullivan does make reference to a screenplay for "O Brother, Where Art Thou," which did have me wondering...
Here's to a new month, getting past awards season and watching more films. I sense a Japanese film festival in my living room coming soon...
22 February 2009
What.The.Fuck
Every year I watch the Oscars with a sense of wonder and glee that is referred to as my SuperBowl by close friends. Before the Oscars were moved, when I had a bit more time, and before everyone started having families and more obligations I used to throw a large party with great amounts of food, drink and a lovely pool of money to the individual that could guess the greatest number of award winners across all categories. The past couple of years have been quieter affairs, but I've still enjoyed the evening. It's Hollywood's night of stars, it's a celebration of great films, it's a guaranteed evening of great and not-so-great speeches, the ceremony will always go on too long, the musical numbers will be ridiculous and yet, it will be everything that's great about the movies. I could always count on that.
Until tonight.
I want to know who tortured and strangled my Oscars, skull-fucked the corpse, smeared it in dog shit then lit it on fire after stringing it in a bajillion Swarovski Crystals and thought that I wouldn't notice? It's a toss up between Laurence Mark and Exec Producer Bill Condon - I don't give a crap which one of you don't come back as long as it's neither of you. Do not touch the Oscars again. You're bad men.
If it seems like I'm a wee bit angry, I am. I can blame plenty on Hugh Jackman, but I'm sure he'll suffer enough as the whole "no, I'm not gay!" game starts up in full force for the next rest of his professional life. I hope that everyone's super duper proud for helping out with giving the bottom feeders material like this forever.
Look, I only have so much time, space and effort, so I'm going to cut to the chase. Where were the fucking clips? I don't mean the endless montages of INSERT LAME GENRE HERE 2008 movie clips, nor do I mean the Sound Effects sorta-clip you did - I mean the FREAKING ACTING CLIPS? Who abandoned bringing back last year's winners to present this year's winners for Best Supporting and Best Actors to bring back "Past Winners with Open Schedules" to simply drone on and on about the nominees?
Who spit balled this and got it green-lit? Who was the asshole? Were the Assholes? I need names.
Who thought bringing back past actors to verbally suck off the nominees was an awesome idea? Didn't one intern point out that a million people were going to be making Cowbell jokes when Christopher Walken was one of the "presenters" by going with this plan? Yeah, that was a way better idea than showing the clips. Especially in a year where everyone on the planet knew you'd be giving away the first posthumous Oscar in over 30 years. Yeah, no one would EVER want to see a FREAKING clip of that. We'd much rather watch Cuba Gooding Jr. desperately cling to relevancy. I mean that was only slightly more pathetic than watching Whoopi make a reference to Back in the Habit.
I can't stress the fun of these clips enough. I was waiting to see which of the Robert Downey Jr. clips would be used for The Oscars this year. I would have paid pay-per-view money if they would have guaranteed me that it was going to be the scene where he discussed never going "full retard" AND a shot of Sean Penn was guaranteed right after I am Sam was mentioned. Respect and love for cowbell, but that would have been comedy gold.
Kate Winslet's best clips came during the Pineapple Express spoof. How freaking sad was that? That's right, two stoners pretending to laugh at her "comedy" in the "Comedies of 2008" clip give us the brief glimpse of Kate's Oscar-winning performance. Or we could listen to other actresses yammer on and on about it. I suppose not all was lost, for it came in the same bundle as The Love Guru and Don't Mess With the Zohan. What company! I shouldn't discount this too much since they got Sean Penn's clips in with the same Pineapple Express montage. When the stoner movie guys get the clip concept down, you should know that there's something "basic" about the concept.
But, no - you're HIGH concept and you use no acting clips! That surely won't suck up the show. Oh, wait, yes it will! Well, if that's the worst you can do...oh, wait! Apparently there's over-achieving to be had in the "Making the Oscars Suck" Category.
You had to screw with the musical numbers. Wasn't it enough when you drove away Peter Gabriel? Sure, harassing MIA because she didn't want to perform a week after giving birth on your show was super classy, but you didn't stop there! You took the beloved marking of time for all of us - the single Oscar song for each nominee throughout the show - letting us know we could get up and stretch or exclaim excitedly to one another, "can you believe they had her sing that song?!?" But not this year. Hell.No. You made a fucking live action montage out of the songs.
You suck.
Director not before Best Picture? Have you no sense of how this show works? Did you just put the nomination slips in a bowl and go, "I promise, whatever order I put these in, this is the order we're going to give them out in!" What is your problem? Really? How many cans computer duster cleaner were you guys ingesting a day when you were putting together the show? That crap destroys brain cells, it really does. Who there isn't aware of the whole Best Director = Best Picture thing. Or are we really pretending this is going to be one of those rare years it doesn't happen?
Finally - who is getting publicly flogged for the In Memoriam Montage? I want a traveling public square and an unlimited supply of rotten fruit and vegetables to throw while the person attempts to apologize for this travesty. The beauty of this was always the somber music, the close up on the screen, the simplicity of the names and credits and the smattering of applause as you realized who had died in the last year.
This year? Queen Latifia sings. Not that she's bad, but that was jarring. And the swooping camera movement over multiple screens that were sometimes OBSCURING the names of the dead? I'm sorry what awesome level of drooling fucktard came up with this "improvement?" For many of these men and women, their careers were behind the scenes and, sadly, this is their worldwide moment of acknowledgment. Thanks to someone's idea of making this "better," I have no idea who at least half of dozen of these individuals were or what their contributions were - but hey, you have swooping camera movements at your disposal during a live telecast!
Mother fuckers.
Oh - I see we decided to roll out the clips for Best Picture. At the end with pictures NOT nominated for Best Picture. Instead of throughout the show with their normal introductions. Too Stupid. Too Little. Too Late.
Honestly, get your act together. Fire the lot of idiots that did this. Apologize profusely. Have Hugh Jackman assure us that he will stick to being Wolverine. Bring back John Stewart, Steve Martin, Ellen DeGeneress or Dave Lettermen - heck I'll even try out a Steven Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel or a Bonnie Hunt. Otherwise, the Oscars are Dead to me.
Until tonight.
I want to know who tortured and strangled my Oscars, skull-fucked the corpse, smeared it in dog shit then lit it on fire after stringing it in a bajillion Swarovski Crystals and thought that I wouldn't notice? It's a toss up between Laurence Mark and Exec Producer Bill Condon - I don't give a crap which one of you don't come back as long as it's neither of you. Do not touch the Oscars again. You're bad men.
If it seems like I'm a wee bit angry, I am. I can blame plenty on Hugh Jackman, but I'm sure he'll suffer enough as the whole "no, I'm not gay!" game starts up in full force for the next rest of his professional life. I hope that everyone's super duper proud for helping out with giving the bottom feeders material like this forever.
Look, I only have so much time, space and effort, so I'm going to cut to the chase. Where were the fucking clips? I don't mean the endless montages of INSERT LAME GENRE HERE 2008 movie clips, nor do I mean the Sound Effects sorta-clip you did - I mean the FREAKING ACTING CLIPS? Who abandoned bringing back last year's winners to present this year's winners for Best Supporting and Best Actors to bring back "Past Winners with Open Schedules" to simply drone on and on about the nominees?
Who spit balled this and got it green-lit? Who was the asshole? Were the Assholes? I need names.
Who thought bringing back past actors to verbally suck off the nominees was an awesome idea? Didn't one intern point out that a million people were going to be making Cowbell jokes when Christopher Walken was one of the "presenters" by going with this plan? Yeah, that was a way better idea than showing the clips. Especially in a year where everyone on the planet knew you'd be giving away the first posthumous Oscar in over 30 years. Yeah, no one would EVER want to see a FREAKING clip of that. We'd much rather watch Cuba Gooding Jr. desperately cling to relevancy. I mean that was only slightly more pathetic than watching Whoopi make a reference to Back in the Habit.
I can't stress the fun of these clips enough. I was waiting to see which of the Robert Downey Jr. clips would be used for The Oscars this year. I would have paid pay-per-view money if they would have guaranteed me that it was going to be the scene where he discussed never going "full retard" AND a shot of Sean Penn was guaranteed right after I am Sam was mentioned. Respect and love for cowbell, but that would have been comedy gold.
Kate Winslet's best clips came during the Pineapple Express spoof. How freaking sad was that? That's right, two stoners pretending to laugh at her "comedy" in the "Comedies of 2008" clip give us the brief glimpse of Kate's Oscar-winning performance. Or we could listen to other actresses yammer on and on about it. I suppose not all was lost, for it came in the same bundle as The Love Guru and Don't Mess With the Zohan. What company! I shouldn't discount this too much since they got Sean Penn's clips in with the same Pineapple Express montage. When the stoner movie guys get the clip concept down, you should know that there's something "basic" about the concept.
But, no - you're HIGH concept and you use no acting clips! That surely won't suck up the show. Oh, wait, yes it will! Well, if that's the worst you can do...oh, wait! Apparently there's over-achieving to be had in the "Making the Oscars Suck" Category.
You had to screw with the musical numbers. Wasn't it enough when you drove away Peter Gabriel? Sure, harassing MIA because she didn't want to perform a week after giving birth on your show was super classy, but you didn't stop there! You took the beloved marking of time for all of us - the single Oscar song for each nominee throughout the show - letting us know we could get up and stretch or exclaim excitedly to one another, "can you believe they had her sing that song?!?" But not this year. Hell.No. You made a fucking live action montage out of the songs.
You suck.
Director not before Best Picture? Have you no sense of how this show works? Did you just put the nomination slips in a bowl and go, "I promise, whatever order I put these in, this is the order we're going to give them out in!" What is your problem? Really? How many cans computer duster cleaner were you guys ingesting a day when you were putting together the show? That crap destroys brain cells, it really does. Who there isn't aware of the whole Best Director = Best Picture thing. Or are we really pretending this is going to be one of those rare years it doesn't happen?
Finally - who is getting publicly flogged for the In Memoriam Montage? I want a traveling public square and an unlimited supply of rotten fruit and vegetables to throw while the person attempts to apologize for this travesty. The beauty of this was always the somber music, the close up on the screen, the simplicity of the names and credits and the smattering of applause as you realized who had died in the last year.
This year? Queen Latifia sings. Not that she's bad, but that was jarring. And the swooping camera movement over multiple screens that were sometimes OBSCURING the names of the dead? I'm sorry what awesome level of drooling fucktard came up with this "improvement?" For many of these men and women, their careers were behind the scenes and, sadly, this is their worldwide moment of acknowledgment. Thanks to someone's idea of making this "better," I have no idea who at least half of dozen of these individuals were or what their contributions were - but hey, you have swooping camera movements at your disposal during a live telecast!
Mother fuckers.
Oh - I see we decided to roll out the clips for Best Picture. At the end with pictures NOT nominated for Best Picture. Instead of throughout the show with their normal introductions. Too Stupid. Too Little. Too Late.
Honestly, get your act together. Fire the lot of idiots that did this. Apologize profusely. Have Hugh Jackman assure us that he will stick to being Wolverine. Bring back John Stewart, Steve Martin, Ellen DeGeneress or Dave Lettermen - heck I'll even try out a Steven Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel or a Bonnie Hunt. Otherwise, the Oscars are Dead to me.
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